I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
