it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
