it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
