why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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