so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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