i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're too hungover to prance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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