Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
