Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
