i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
