it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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