Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize