You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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