If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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