Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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