my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
