I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
