But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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