Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
