I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
