You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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