it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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