i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
