hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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