Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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