and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
