did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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