when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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