On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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