You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
