I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
