love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
