I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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