You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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