guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
