This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
