she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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