Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
