I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
