and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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