Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize