I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
