I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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