Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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