then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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