I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
