none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize