my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize