Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
