I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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