We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I said "one day" and that day is not today
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
