If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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