so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
