Farmville is her only friend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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