Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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