Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
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I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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