Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
