hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
