i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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