I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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