he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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