He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is wine microwaveable?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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