you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
