Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
