it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
