Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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