This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
