smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
