You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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