Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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