Who wears a wallet chain?!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
