you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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